I'm home sick. Completely nauseous.
Emotionally resting in a God who knows me and my heart and how I process and what I want, but physically having to choose things for my life even though I feel like giving up control is waiting on Him completely to open a door. This double concept is so confusing. It makes a little sense but it's so hard to wrap my heart and head around. Because I just want what He wants but He isn't just going to tell me, at least right now, at least in a way I can understand. Because waiting on Him doesn't mean sitting idly by. Waiting on Him is choosing to still move in a forward motion, praying that it is still where He is leading even when I feel He has gone silent. I think.
This pretty much goes for every unresolved area of life.
So I have to choose things but still rest in who He is. What.
Please help me, God.
hey... i love you. i hope you're feeling better. i also wish i had a better understanding of this, but i think that is just part of His mystery. i encourage you to take one day at a time. to wake up in the morning and remember that each day has a specific purpose. to try and do everything as Jesus would. in doing that, you are leading yourself straight into His will.
ReplyDeleteJenna, I have been praying for you. I know it is so hard to trust when we can't see the big picture, feel like God is working, or feel like we are not getting the answers we need. We can't wrap our heads around God and fully understand the way that He works. However, we can rely and know His character! He is working even when we can't see. As this journey continues, you will be able to look back and then see how God works. During this time of the unseen, He wants us to continue to seek Him and to learn to listen to His voice. God loves you so much and you are His precious daughter. It is when we are weak that He makes us strong. I pray that you will be able to rest in Him and not feel burdened by trying to understand. He is with you and wants to give you strength and comfort.
ReplyDeletemmm, really like the part about moving forward in God & not sitting idly by waiting. I do believe it is best to always continue on, seeking higher, better, etc, something good! and if we do make a choice that is not okay, God will shut the doors as necessary, but we might as well walk through them while they're open if we want to :)
ReplyDeletemm, this reminds me of a conversation we had earlier in circles that really changed my perspective. darin talked about how we're almost always asking God to open the right door and close the rest (this might not be exactly what you're saying, but it still seems applicable) so that we know which direction to go in. and then he said that what God may want us to do is look at a lot of open doors, see the many different ways He can be glorified in each, and then just choose. sometimes He gives us the freedom to choose and we mustn't limit God to one right direction. He is in everything.
ReplyDeleteFollowing Jesus is always "risky" to us. But it really isn't. He knows what we need. Even when we don't know, He does. Wait upon the Lord but continue to move forward in a way that is going to reveal more of Him and you can do that by comparing your steps to the bible and if they match up or not!
ReplyDelete"His presence muted teaches me to have faith" -Jake Hamilton